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Cat Person vs. Purina: The Cat Food Title Match

Tobin Walsh
ByTobin WalshNov 7, 2022Sponsored

As the bright lights of the kitchen glow and the surrounding living room lamps fade, it’s time for the MAIN EVENT! This contest will determine whether my run-of-the-mill, grocery store cat food, Purina Friskies, will defeat a new online, subscription-based contender: Cat Person.

This championship bout is set for five rounds, with each round testing a different cat food feature. Who will emerge victorious: Purina or Cat Person?

Round #1: Ingredients…Cat Person

The bell calls Purina and Cat Person wet food back to the center of the ring, where it’s time to analyze the ingredients used in each. Round 2 begins with a haymaker from Cat Person on Purina–a punch difficult for any cat food brand to come back from.

Each box of Cat Person food is labeled with just a few ingredients. The ‘Turkey and Chicken’ combination, for example, has 96% meat and 2% Tapioca and flavoring. On the other hand, Purina Friskies have seven lines of printed ingredients–by-products (gross) or words that appear to be synthetic compounds (yuck).

Round #2: Value…Purina

As the two brands dance around the ring, I assumed that Purina would have Cat Person on the ropes quickly based on price.

The Wet Starter box from Cat Person will start at $28 (for 20 cans of 2.75-ounce wet food, with free delivery; plus, I can hand-select the flavors my cats will love). Quick math says Cat Person’s wet cat food will cost ~$/1.40. Purina Friskies are cheaper, costing around $1.00/can. Purina’s low price point connects!

Round 2 is not over, though. Cat Person’s easy ordering, free shipping, 10% off each order, and healthy selections jab back. To me, the premium quality of the Cat Person wet food closes the pricing gap even if spending more expands the budget.

Round #3: Our Felines’ Favorite…Cat Person

As the Round 3 begins, Cat Person has Purina against the ropes. Unbeknownst to my cats, I switched one bowl of Friskies with Cat Person’s ‘Duck and Chicken’ recipe.

Cat Person’s superiority over Purina became obvious as both cats darted for the same, Cat Person-filled bowl. I might even say there was a fight between my mild-mannered cats in the middle of this championship battle.

Round #4: Opening the Container…Cat Person

Round 4 might seem meaningless, but to my family, the ability to easily open the cat food containers makes a HUGE difference. My kids help us feed our cats and I don’t want them prying open metal, splashing juices about, and risking cuts.

The Purina Friskies cans I tested were the typical metal variety, and the pull-tab is impossible to separate without a knife. The Cat Person wet food packaging was like a snack pack – plastic with a vacuum-sealed, peel-back top to open.

Round #5: Storage and Leftovers…Cat Person

Entering Round 4, Cat Person has Purina on the ropes and is eyeing the knockout as I look at neatly storing any leftovers.

For Purina Friskies, once the food is opened, the only method of preserving it is by shoving the opened metal can into a sandwich bag. However, Cat Person’s box provided a flexible top cover for the excess. My cat, Hawkeye, never finishes his meal, and the ability to save the remnants for future meals lands like an uppercut on Purina’s chin.

The Ultimate Winner...Cat Person

With only seconds remaining in the final round, the match is over. Cat Person is crowned the undisputed champion of my cats’ meal.

The ring lights dim while the audience departs, recognizing that the fight between Cat Person wet cat food and Purina Friskies was no real fight at all. Tomorrow’s headline is written: CAT PERSON DOMINATES.