Bitchy Box is a monthly period subscription box with one heck of an irreverent side. This expressive subscription box feels your time-of-the-month pain while distracting you from it via a box worth of super snarky gifts.
(FYI – the contents of the box may not be suitable for viewing at work. Just a heads up!)
Each month, subscribers get a new "angry vajayjay survival kit" that includes quirky products, snacks, and a pair of comfy undies. I was very... intrigued when I first heard about this box, so I'm excited to check it out on behalf of you, dear readers. Will it push the envelope, or shove the envelope right off a cliff? Let's find out...
This box was sent to us at no cost for review. (Check out the review process post to learn more about how we review boxes.)
About Bitchy Box Period Subscription Box
The Subscription Box: Bitchy Box
The Cost: $20.00 per individual box + shipping, though subscriptions begin at $66.00 for $3 months (which includes shipping).
LIMITED TIME DEAL: Now through 10/14, new subscribers, use code REDAFTERLABORDAY20 to save 20% OFF a 3-month Bitchy Bundle
The Products: Impossibly irreverent themed gifts to help your period be a little less painful, including a pair of comfy undies with a different pattern each month (in sizes small through 3X).
Ships to: US for $5 & internationally for an additional cost
Bitchy Box "Murder in My Pants" August 2018 Review
Hooooo boy, buckle up folks! This box is not for the faint of heart... for a few reasons. Just looking at the info booklet, you can tell these gals are going full steam ahead into their wickedly brazen brand. Plus, the theme for this month is "Murder in My Pants". Prepare for some gory goodies!
Harebrained Crime Scene Period Panties, Size Large - Estimated Value $12.99
While I couldn't find this specific pair, other Harebrained designs go for about $12.99 each. I really like the boyshort cut of these cotton and elastane undies. They're pretty breathable, though I will say the way the ink is printed on the fabric makes them a little stiff. (Also, if you're someone with a booty, prepare for the print to crack in some places as the fabric stretches... Speaking from experience here.) But let's not ignore the elephant in the room. THAT PRINT. I think it's pretty obvious what the "crime scene" is eluding to. I'm at once impressed by how devil-may-care brazen the design is and realizing I've been wincing uncontrollably, brow furrowed, eyes squinting, somewhat bewildered ever since I pulled them out of the box!
10 Goodwipes Cleansing Wipes in Lavender - Buy a 30 pack for $7.99 here
These friendly little lavender-scented wipes arrived in a devilishly thematic evidence bag! I do love the idea of being able to toss a few of these individually wrapped wipes into my bag, especially if I'm out somewhere like a festival or camping or somewhere that's not as... uh... conducive to normal period maintenance. They're sewer and septic safe, flushable, and pH balanced for comfortable down-there care.
4 Blood Clot Gummies by Oriental Trading Company - Buy 38 for $6.99, found here for $3.27
As folks who read my snack reviews know, I'm not a big gummy fan, so, unfortunately, the appeal of these candies are lost on me. The darker side of my sense of humor does see the cleverness of having these little fruity splatter candies in the box, but well, I'm wincing again.
Parking Violation Pouch by Blue Q - Retail Value $5.99 (Found here for $2.49)
I have a real pride point that I've (knock on wood) never gotten a proper ticket for speeding or anything like that. But wow, have I ever racked up a bunch of parking tickets in my time. This pouch (made from recycled materials!) is the perfect match for me. It's billed as a pencil case, but it'd also be perfect for period supplies, makeup, moola... whatever floats your boat.
They even include some Bitchy Box parking tickets that YOU can leave for other people. Living in the city, I feel like I grumble about other people's parking on a daily basis. That said, I don't know that I'd ever go so far as to leave a (rather blunt) note on anyone's car. Would you?
Leather Rhinestone Wrap Bracelet by Mini in the Box - Retail Value $7.99 (Found here for $5.99)
So, per the site this listed on, the bracelet is actually imitation leather, which is cool for vegan subscribers! It's a fun accessory that reminds me of something I'd find at a cool mall accessory store. The rhinestones have a vibrant pop to them and the material is really comfortable and soft on my wrist. You can choose from three tightnesses (there are three snap closures to choose from). I will say that my wrist is relatively small, and I was still most comfortable snapping it shut on the biggest setting. So it may be a little tight on some folks.
The Verdict: My take away from this box? I wish I was cool enough to be able to totally love all of the edgy irreverence of this box! Unfortunately, I think I might be a little too timid to feel like this is a good match for me. That said, I could probably name at least 5 people I know who would be SO into this kind of thing. Props to this subscription box for not backing down from its bold oh-you're-uncomfortable-well-I'm-LITERALLY-PHYSICALLY-UNCOMFORTABLE vibe. Is it right for me? Nah. But you'd better believe I'll be talking about this box for years to come.
To Wrap Up:
Can I still get this box if I sign up today?: No. They typically ship mid-month. However, if there are extra boxes, they may go up for sale as individual purchases on the Bitchy Box site shop.
LIMITED TIME DEAL: Now through 10/14, new subscribers, use code REDAFTERLABORDAY20 to save 20% OFF a 3-month Bitchy Bundle
Value Breakdown: Individual boxes are typically priced at $20.00 but cost $5.00 to ship. However, a 3-month subscription (the minimum recurring subscription level you can purchase) is $66.00 + free shipping, meaning each box costs $22.00. If this box cost $22.00, that'd mean that each featured item on the info card has an average value of $4.40.
Check out the Period Subscription Box List for more options!
Keep Track of Your Subscriptions: Add this box to your subscription list or wishlist!
Well, what do you think? Is Bitchy Box up your alley?
Please do not enter your email address in the Name field or in the comment content. Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *. Remember to post with kindness and respect. Comments with offensive language, cruelness to others, etc will not be approved. See our full comment policy here.