Alright, let’s dive into the most frustratingly marvelous body butter I have ever tried. And get ready for me to talk you out of it. Here is why I will never recommend Kopari's Ultra Restore Body Butter to anyone. Ever. (Spoiler alert: it’s because I want to keep it all to myself. Especially as we head into the dry skin trap that is winter).
1. It Makes My Skin Too Darn Soft
This potent combo of coconut oil, mango seed butter, hyaluronic acid, and prickly pear seed oil inside this body butter tub has become a growing problem for me. You know that feeling when you sit on a velvet couch that seems to hug your body? The sensation of that luxe fabric against my palm is what my arms and legs feel like now. I have caught myself stroking my décolleté in public. Yesterday, my husband touched my knee and made a very impressed “woooo” sound. This softness is becoming a distraction in my daily life. Especially at a time when I'm used to dry winter skin.
2. The Ingredients are Just Too Clean
One of the features Kopari converts love to brag about is the uber-clean ingredient lists. In fact, the more I learn about going clean and green, the more I care about checking the ingredients in my other products. Which has led to revelations I really would rather not think about at all. The fact that clean ingredients actually work even better than the icky stuff has also been troubling. Why wouldn’t I swap to products that prioritize formulas that are better for my body and the earth in general? Guess I will be clearing out more space in my makeup bag and vanity.
3. I Have Too Much Empty Shelf Space Now
I have spent a lot of time curating all of the different products I need to slather on my body after a shower to feel human. This highly selective group contains various body oils, serums, and creams. Kopari's Ultra Restore Body Butter makes the need for these other items moot. Because it targets all of my skin concerns like dryness, dullness, and overall hydration, I am no longer sure what I am supposed to do with all of the products I no longer need. I find this frustrating. Just a little bit of this body butter and I get the same results as numerous other products I have been forcing myself to buy for literally forever? Obnoxious.
4. I Have To Rethink My Entire Wardrobe Now
I have dull and dry skin and my legs are especially prone to those annoying strawberry bumps after shaving. This is fine because my legs are never the main attraction in my daily looks. In fact, I generally choose styles that hide my dry skin. Think maxi/midi dresses, jeans all summer long, and tinted tights if I wear something shorter. This body butter gives my gams such a glowy and healthy finish that it made me confused about my closet. Do I need to buy some cute athletic shorts for the gym? Do I like miniskirts now? How do I deal with this?
5. It Smells Like the Beach Vacation I Didn’t Have This Year
I am sure many of you spent a few weeks this summer relaxing on some shimmering sandbar while sipping a brightly colored cocktail. Well, some of us were stuck in some landlocked middle-of-nowhere town without the benefit of sun-kissed skin and sea salt. And this body butter, with its fragrance of coconut, tasty vanilla, and tropical fruits, serves as a butter reminder of the bikini I never put on this year. Do I smell completely irresistible? Does this scent compliment my daily perfume? Sure, fine. But it also leaves me feeling a little bitter.
In short, DO NOT BUY this product if you will miss spending all of your money on a shelf full of beauty products that could be easily replaced with this single tub. Do not buy this product if you prefer your body butter to arrive with an ingredient list full of long complicated ingredients that you can barely pronounce. Do not buy this body butter if you don’t want to feel like a newborn little baby with cloud-soft skin. And for heaven’s sake, do not buy this product if you aren’t ready to present your newfound glowy goddess self to the general public. Just don’t.