It’s completely unfair that my 65-year-old dad has a full, thick head of hair while I, at age 34, am balding. One of the universe’s rudest gifts, really. But instead of pitying myself and feeling resentful toward my dad, I decided to do something about it. I took to the internet for solutions ... which led me to some pretty weird answers. There's only one solution I'd actually recommend - keep reading below to find out what it is!
1. Infrared Light Helmet
No big deal, let me just drop $1,000 on laserbeams for my head. If I’m going to invest in a light-up helmet, it’s going to be a Daft Punk helmet to dance in.
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There are seriously people out there wearing mayo hair masks for 20 minutes every week saying, “If it’s good enough for my bologna sandwich it’s good enough for me.” What is this world?
I’m hearing rumors that beer mixed with olive oil gives you shiny locks and promotes regrowth. Just like many of the other whacky approaches to hair loss on this list, there's no clinical evidence that beer is beneficial for your hair. I’ll stick to drinking my beer on the weekends, thanks.
4. Hair Follicle Stimulator
Anger Management, anyone? While hair follicle stimulators are actually oil blends you spray on your scalp and wish and hope and pray that something happens (not likely), all I can think of is the Violet Ray that Jack uses in the movie.
How About a Real Solution?
All shenanigans aside, I’ve found something that actually works to address the baldness at the crown of my head: Keeps. It’s FDA-approved and clinically proven to treat hair loss, which is great, but even better than these platitudes is that it’s doing what it promises for me.
Keeps offers both oral Finasteride and topical Minoxidil (I use this second one), as well as a thickening shampoo & conditioner plus a styling pomade for that extra oomph. It’s all really affordable and ships conveniently to my house monthly, so I don’t even have to think about restocking, it’s just there and ready for me. And it was simple to work these products into my daily routine. I wake up, brush my teeth, drink my coffee, shower using my Keeps shampoo and conditioner, get dressed for my day, and apply my bald boy drops before heading out the door. If this is all it takes to maintain a fuller head of hair, I could do it forever.